


To be in your arms and to never think again

by soulhead



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Lando comforting Charles, M/M, but both friends know they are more than just that, season 2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:00:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26325280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulhead/pseuds/soulhead
Summary: And there in a bathtub too small for the both of them and surrounded by water that will soon turn cold, Charles only truly conscious thought is that he doesn't want to think about his latest result, his career, about anything at all. He only ever wants to feel as he does in this moment, loved up on Lando's chest and safe.
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Lando Norris
Comments: 4
Kudos: 81





	To be in your arms and to never think again

No matter the outcome of his race, Charles has a small list of rituals he follow dutifully to allow his body and mind to cast off the excess of adrenaline that roams through his every limb.

Lately through, there isn't much adrenaline to shake off after his races.

If 2020 was an embarrassing fiasco for the Scuderia, 2021 is....Well, Charles doesn't know any adjectives strong enough in French, Italian or English to express the state of his team accurately.

And logically today isn’t an exception to the rule : after he finished 10 th  just ahead of Carlos, there’s no adrenaline to shake himself off. Only resignation and an almost overwhelming sense of anger whenever another member of his team throw him yet another sorry look.

So, as soon as he’s done debriefing with his team, he closes the door of Ferrari’s motorhome behind him with trembling fingers and his eyes starts searching for Lando, the only person he’s in a mood to spend time with. As he wanders through the paddock in his search, Charles stops himself for a second when he sees his own reflection on a window. He fixes his hair quickly and curses when he notices the shadows under his eyes. While he knows Lando and relationship isn’t solely based on the nights they spend together or the moments they steal in empty halls, he still feels like he owns to Lando to look good for him.

After fixing his look as best as he can, he nears the McLaren’s papaya colored hospitality and hesitantly asks a few people around if they had sighted him, but Lando seems to have disappeared. Charles feels his heart plummet in his chest. The simple possibility that Lando has already gone off elsewhere and that Charles won’t get to speak with him only add fuel to the ever-growing anxiety bubbling in him. They had this meeting of theirs planned since Wednesday and yet, it seems the younger driver forgot about it.

He just want to have _one_ thing in his day that goes well, _is it too much to ask_ ? Charles laments.

Suddenly, when he's going back closer to his own motorhome to get his phone and send a message to Lando, he feels a hand lands heavily on his left shoulder, making him jump in surprise.

Lando then appears next to him with a playful glint shining in his eyes, the adrenaline of finishing in P5 obviously still present in his eyes.

«Ah Lando !» he sighs in relief before greeting him in quick hug «Congrats on your race !»

«Thank you !» Lando's eyes perks up even more instantly, as if he had forgotten about his own result before Charles reminded him. His expression yet remains soft and focused entirely on Charles face, who feels his cheeks reddening under Lando's attention. At the same time, his heart-rate calms rapidly and he feels himself breathes a little easier.

Lando then extends his arm to show off proudly two ice-creams «Thought it would be good to help us cool off !»

And even through Charles stomach feels too tightened with stress to eat anything for today, he accepts with a smile Lando's gift. The younger driver small attentions always manage to surprise him and Charles doesn't think he would ever have the heart to refuse him anything.

«Charlotte told me you were looking out for me ?» Lando asks after a while.

«Oh !» he lets out embarrassed «Uh-yeah I thought you had forgotten about us !»

«Sorry about that, I crossed Carlos on my way and he needed to give vent to some frustrations... That was a shit weekends for the both of you...» Lando says emphatically and normally Charles would already be trying to find anything to say to hunt away the frown on Lando's face.

But it's of his own race result they are talking and the simple reminder of it feels like a slap on Charles face.

So he quickly gives Lando the same vaguely optimistic answer he was told to say to the media. Unlike the journalists through, Lando clearly doesn't look satisfied with his answer. Yet, he doesn't push the subject further and seems to understand his need to talk about anything else but the race.

Rapidly, Lando starts talking animatedly about their upcoming first ever race at Zandvoort and strangely, it puts Charles in a bit of a optimistic daze to listen to him rambling endlessly about how racing the banked corners of the circuit will feel. Even if Charles already knows he will probably only put on a race against the backmarkers, there's something indescribable in the reassuring gentle and yet animated tone of Lando...Something that pushes him to believe that maybe there's a chance the next Grand-Prix will be something to look forward to and not to dread.

As soon as they finally enter Lando's hotel room, Charles let himself fall heavily on top of the spacious bed and he lets a deep relieved sigh at the soft mattress under his back.  
«Wanna play a game of COD ?» Lando hands him out one of the two controllers in his hands as he wait for his PS4 to start..

«Nah, I'll just watch you for now.» he says as he shifts to the left-side of the bed to let Lando lay alongside him.

«You sure you're alright ?» Lando asks with a concerned glance.

«Yeah, yeah just tired! Anyway is the new COD map any good ?»

Lando, for the second time in barely a dozen of minutes, decides to indulge him by dropping the subject of his wellbeing and proceeds to show him every tiny details of said new map while miraculously not being killed instantly. It's obvious yet that Lando is putting a bit of a show for him, trying to entertain him as best as he can.

 _Bless him, bless Lando,_ Charles thinks fervently. _He doesn't know what he would do without him this year and doesn't ever want to find out._

And for a moment, Charles thinks Lando's effort are working and focusing on the mirthful expression painted on Lando's face while the other driver is trying to win one game will be enough to forget about his own trouble. Yet, his brain, his _treacherous_ brain, seems to interpret his own lack of activity as a perfect opportunity to think back once again about somber thoughts.

How can he stops them from assaulting his brain after all ?

Another week-end spent struggling with his car at every corners, during every straights, being overtaken by cars that used to be backmarkers just two years ago.

_And he signed for potentially another 4 years of that._

At this thought, a sudden sense of dizziness assails him and his chest feels suddenly too tight to hold his heart.

This bitterness, this fatalism.... _This is not him_ , he realizes before tears yet again starts welling up on his eyes.

«Fuck...» he mutters mostly to himself before he lifts the cover off the bed and crawls under the sheets to only let the tips of his hair stand out. He knows he's behaving like a kid, seeking shelter under bed's cover to hide away the emotions that are flooding on his face.

_But he's so tired._

Drained from pretending he's sailing as smoothly as he can through a storm, when he's not even sure anyone in Ferrari has had is hands on this sinking ship's rudder for too many months.

Tears starts to rapidly fall down on his cheeks and a few seconds later, the sound of fired shot coming from Lando's game stop «Charles, what's the matter with you ?» he worries as he lifts the covers off and joins him under the sheets.

His own erratic breathing is almost all that can be heard as Lando looks at him with eyes filled with concern. Those same big, earnestly worried eyes seems to see right through him to the point it suddenly feel meaningless to keep up appearances anymore. And before he realizes, words spill from his mouth.

«It's just...There's no consistency. Each new race I don't know what I need to prepare myself for. Am I going to have a chance for a podium this week-end ? Or am I going to struggle with my tires, the slow corners, the straights,or with slow pitstop and dumb strategies ?» He continues to list off all the things that have gone wrong in the previous races and with each examples, he feels his heart rate spiking even more to the point he feels like he's suffocating.

«Hey, hey. I'm there now, okay ?» Lando consoles him while his fingers threads lightly on Charles hair.

Trying to speak, he first lets a strangle noise out before letting a few minutes pass to revel in the soothing motion on his scalp «Sorry, I just..I'm just exhausted I think...»

«How about we run ourselves a bath ? You would like that ?»

If it was anyone else, Charles would have every single of his hairs raising out in irritation at the almost childish tone Lando takes to ask him this single question. But it's not just anyone else. It's _Lando_.

Lando whose presence is probably the only person allowing to not lose it completely and who doesn't have a single judgmental bone in his body.

«Y-yeah I'd love to.»

«Wait for me then !» Lando says before pecking softly the corner of Charles' mouth and running a thumb over his cheeks delicately. Then Charles watches Lando exits the small cocoon he created under the sheets and he hears the sound of running water soon resonates through the room. Charles doesn't move one centimeter through, clinging to the remaining warmth on the sheets.

As Lando's bed grows colder, an unpleasant chill runs down his spine and the haziness he was navigating in until now leaves place for a series of piercing thoughts..

He suddenly wonders what is he doing here, taking up Lando's time when he knows the younger driver enjoys hanging around with the rest of his team. It suddenly dawns on him : it isn't fair on him to force Lando to witness the mess he's in, not when Charles knows he can deal with it on his own, inside the privacy of his own room.

He's halfway out of the bed when Lando emerges from the bathroom, looking curiously at two small containers.

«Where do you think you're going ?»

«I-...I don't want to ru-»

«Nope, actually I don't even care about your explanation, I emptied four different kind of soap in the bathtub. You've got no choice but to test it out with me.» Lando sternly explains before walking rapidly toward him and leading him forcefully to the bathroom. Charles, too tired to put up any fight follows him with a small resigned smile on his face. Inside the bathroom, an impressive cloud of steam meets him and he stands unmoving in the middle of it. The simple thought of raising his arms to get rid of his shirt suddenly seems like an unbearable effort for him.

After undressing himself quickly, Lando comes to help him out of his own clothes before entering the bathtub and opening his arm in an invitation.

Precariously, Charles joins him to rest his back on Lando's chest and almost instantly close his eyes. The steaming water surrounding him and Lando's gentle hold around his waist work together to almost instantly get rid of the ache in his chest and articulations. Or maybe it's nothing more than the almost hypnotic rise and fall of Lando's chest against his back that ground him.

An eternity seems to pass where Lando and he don't exchange a word and only the occasional sound of rippling water is heard when one of them briefly move. Then, Lando starts to rub Charles shoulder and adding different kind of pressure on his muscles.

«You're really working extra hours for us, uh ?» Charles whispers softly while he relishes Lando's attention.

«Uhm ?»

«As my own personal cheerleader....I should talk to Mattia so you get paid.»

«Nah, I would do it for free for you.»

«You're saying that I'm a charity case ?» Charles says, just to make Lando splutters in the adorable way he always does when he's teased.

«No, just that I love you.» Lando answers instinctively, before stopping his massage as he realizes what he said «I mean, if that's okay with you, what we have is fun we don't need to-» he starts to ramble while Charles remains silent for a moment, his brain too hazy to realize Lando's trouble.

«Love you too...» he simply mumbles as he starts to progressively drift to sleep.

And there in a bathtub too small for the both of them and surrounded by water that will soon turn cold, Charles only truly conscious thought is that he doesn't want to think about his latest result, his career, about anything at all. He only ever wants to feel as he does in this moment, loved up on Lando's chest and _safe_.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi ! Thanks for reading ! Any comments or kudos would be appreciated greatly !  
> I'm trying to figure out a new style of writing. 80% of my fics are usually started because I've got 1 emotional scene in mind and then I tend to get lost in too much exposition, too much world building to finally come to the scene i want to write and....those emotional scenes are the one i truly want to write. So i'm going to try some new stuff :)


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